Paul Merton

"When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them."

"I looked at longevity in show business when I was about 13, and the people who seemed to have longevity were the ones who'd spent quite a bit of time learning about what they were doing before they made it."

"When I wake up on a Monday morning and I realise I don't have to go and work at the civil service, I really think I've won."