"There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt."
-Erma Bombeck
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"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.“
-Erma Bombeck
posted in God
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"Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy."
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"When humor goes, there goes civilization."
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"Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely."
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"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."
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"A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat."
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"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present."
-Joan Rivers
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"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."
-Chuck Palahniuk
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"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."
-Woody Allen
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"Part of me suspects that I'm a loser, and the other part of me thinks I'm God Almighty."
-John Lennon
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"To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."
-Woody Allen
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"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it."
-Voltaire
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