"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good."
-Woody Allen
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"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television."
-Woody Allen
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"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."
-Woody Allen
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"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."
-Woody Allen
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"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
-Woody Allen
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"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."
-Woody Allen
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"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present."
-Joan Rivers
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"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."
-Chuck Palahniuk
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"Part of me suspects that I'm a loser, and the other part of me thinks I'm God Almighty."
-John Lennon
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"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it."
-Voltaire
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"I'm an atheist and I thank God for it."
-George Bernard Shaw
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"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them."
-Mark Twain
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