"I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time."
-Steven Wright
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Other Quotes by Steven Wright
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"I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance."
-Steven Wright
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"What's another word for Thesaurus?"
-Steven Wright
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"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
-Steven Wright
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"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
-Steven Wright
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"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."
-Steven Wright
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Same Category
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"The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid."
-Jane Austen
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"One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain."
-Bob Marley
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"I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love."
-Marilyn Monroe
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"Whatever you are, be a good one."
-Abraham Lincoln
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"It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart."
-Anne Frank
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"There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so."
-William Shakespeare
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