"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place."
-Steven Wright
workView Quote
Other Quotes
Discover more inspiring quotes from our collection
"I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time."
-Steven Wright
timeView Quote
"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."
-Steven Wright
timeView Quote
"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time."
-Steven Wright
timeView Quote
"I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time."
-Steven Wright
timeView Quote
"I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance."
-Steven Wright
timeView Quote
Same Category
More quotes in this category
"There's no regret. You can't regret. I mean, I've felt regret but I've also refused to allow regret to sow a seed and live in me because I don't believe it. You feel it, it's like guilt, it's like jealousy, it's like all those horrible things. You've just got to snip them and get them out, because they're no good."
-Jude Law
goodView Quote
"God is everywhere but He is most manifest in man. So serve man as God. That is as good as worshipping God."
-Ramakrishna
goodView Quote
"My mother gave lots of good advice and had a lot to say. As you get older, you realize everything she said was true."
-Lenny Kravitz
goodView Quote
"Bear and endure: This sorrow will one day prove to be for your good."
-Ovid
goodView Quote
"Let's not be afraid to speak the common sense truth: you can't have high standards without good discipline."
-William Hague
goodView Quote
"It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core."
-Phyllis Diller
goodView Quote