"There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting."
-David Letterman
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"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?“
-David Letterman
posted in Health
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"The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves."
-David Letterman
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"It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?"
-David Letterman
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"There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe - because I've done a little of this myself - pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing."
-David Letterman
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"I cannot sing, dance or act what else would I be but a talk show host."
-David Letterman
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"We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets."
-David Letterman
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"I heard a definition once: Happiness is health and a short memory! I wish I'd invented it, because it is very true."
-Audrey Hepburn
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"Happiness is good health and a bad memory."
-Ingrid Bergman
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"To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost."
-Gustave Flaubert
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"It is great good health to believe, as the Hindus do, that there are 33 million gods and goddesses in the world. It is great good health to want to understand one's dreams. It is great good health to desire the ambiguous and paradoxical."
-Clive Barker
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"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory."
-Albert Schweitzer
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"Everyone should have health insurance? I say everyone should have health care. I'm not selling insurance."
-Dennis Kucinich
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