David Letterman

• "There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.“
• "Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.“
• "There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe - because I've done a little of this myself - pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing.“
• "I cannot sing, dance or act what else would I be but a talk show host.“
• "We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets.“
• "Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?“
• "The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.“
• "Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.“
• "It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?“

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