"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present."
-Joan Rivers
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"Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.“
-Joan Rivers
posted in Respect
Other Quotes by Joan Rivers
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"She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven."
-Joan Rivers
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"Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television."
-Joan Rivers
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"I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor."
-Joan Rivers
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"I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again."
-Joan Rivers
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"Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too."
-Joan Rivers
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Same Category
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"Every individual has a place to fill in the world and is important in some respect whether he chooses to be so or not."
-Nathaniel Hawthorne
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"Respect for self is the beginning of cultivating virtue in men and women."
-Gordon B. Hinckley
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"We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart."
-H. L. Mencken
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"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."
-Rita Rudner
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"I have too much respect for the idea of God to make it responsible for such an absurd world."
-Georges Duhamel
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"Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts?"
-Confucius
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