"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."
-Henny Youngman
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Other Quotes by Henny Youngman
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"My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad but New York City?"
-Henny Youngman
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"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret."
-Henny Youngman
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"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."
-Henny Youngman
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"This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!"
-Henny Youngman
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"This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest."
-Henny Youngman
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"There are two kinds of teachers: the kind that fill you with so much quail shot that you can't move, and the kind that just gives you a little prod behind and you jump to the skies."
-Robert Frost
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"Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose."
-Bill Gates
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"Everywhere I go, I'm asked if I think the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."
-Flannery O'Connor
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"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."
-Hector Berlioz
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"Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing."
-Denis Waitley
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"What we become depends on what we read after all of the professors have finished with us. The greatest university of all is a collection of books."
-Thomas Carlyle
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