"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."
-Jerry Seinfeld
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"That's the true spirit of Christmas people being helped by people other than me.“
-Jerry Seinfeld
posted in Christmas
Other Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
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"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end."
-Jerry Seinfeld
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"There is no such thing as fun for the whole family."
-Jerry Seinfeld
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"The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!"
-Jerry Seinfeld
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"Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death."
-Jerry Seinfeld
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"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.'"
-Jerry Seinfeld
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"Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind."
-Mary Ellen Chase
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"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."
-Jay Leno
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"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph."
-Shirley Temple
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"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
-George Carlin
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"The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value."
-Charles Dudley Warner
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"I love Christmas. Frosty the Snowman, peace on Earth and mangers, Salvation Army bell ringers and reindeer, the movie 'Meet Me in St. Louis,' office parties and cookies."
-Mo Rocca
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