"I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time."
-Steven Wright
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"I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance."
-Steven Wright
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"What's another word for Thesaurus?"
-Steven Wright
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"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
-Steven Wright
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"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
-Steven Wright
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"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."
-Steven Wright
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"Most of the basic material a writer works with is acquired before the age of fifteen."
-Willa Cather
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"Age is a very high price to pay for maturity."
-Tom Stoppard
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"To teach how to live without certainty and yet without being paralysed by hesitation is perhaps the chief thing that philosophy, in our age, can do for those who study it."
-Bertrand Russell
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"What Youth deemed crystal, Age finds out was dew."
-Robert Browning
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"Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking."
-Albert Einstein
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"Our Age of Anxiety is, in great part, the result of trying to do today's job with yesterday's tools and yesterday's concepts."
-Marshall McLuhan
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