"I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor."
-Joan Rivers
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"What are people going to do? Fire me? I've been fired before. Not book me? I've been out of work before. I don't care."
-Joan Rivers
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"Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise."
-Joan Rivers
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"She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven."
-Joan Rivers
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"The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it."
-Joan Rivers
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"Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television."
-Joan Rivers
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"Democracy functions best when we have an active citizenry."
-Rick Perry
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"I've found the best way is to not be scared of the attention but to be grateful for it and open to it. It makes my days better rather than being annoyed that people want my attention."
-Brandon Routh
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"What I love best in life is new starts."
-Karl Lagerfeld
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"Recruitment and retention are critical to sustain our Armed Forces with the best men and women willing to stand in the gap and make huge sacrifices to ensure our freedom."
-Zack Wamp
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"One of the best things for a woman to hear is that she is sexy."
-Scarlett Johansson
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"I'm either going to go completely mental, completely bankrupt, or have the best success of my life."
-Katy Perry
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