Louis C. K.

• "It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me.“
• "To me, art supplies are always okay to buy.“
• "I have a crazy amount of different jobs, so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at a time. It's like old computers that had small memory chips, they would do something called swapping, where they would fill the memory with one task, do it and get it out.“
• "When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.'“
• "I've learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work.“
• "It's more fun to experience things when you don't know what's going to happen.“
• "I think you have to try and fail, because failure gets you closer to what you're good at.“
• "America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out.“
• "The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to.“
• "When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes.“
• "I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'“
• "When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes.“
• "There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it.“
• "I wish I could know everything ever, like that would be my wish - that's what I hope heaven is, that they tell you who shot JFK and all that stuff.“
• "I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor.“
• "When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every day and you run down the list and it feels very much like a chore.“
• "For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I'm making plenty of money.“
• "I never viewed money as being 'my money' I always saw it as 'the money.' It's a resource. If it pools up around me then it needs to be flushed back out into the system.“
• "A lot of the struggle I had with movies is I really loved moments and tones and feelings in a scene, and I loved creating those, but I never really had great stories to string them together.“
• "I grew up watching all these crazy movies, European movies and stuff, and I guess that I always laughed at things that were a little more offbeat.“
• "I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'“
• "Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.“
• "It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.“
• "Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people.“
• "If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.“
• "When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us.“
• "Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.“
• "I've learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work.“
• "I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women.“
• "When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.'“
• "I've learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work.“

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