Drew Carey

"Oh, and once, when I was in the Marines, I got a perfect score on my physical fitness test."

"Nothing's funny about someone who's successful."

"TV is easier: it's all planned out for you and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over."

"As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed."

"As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything."

"There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it."