"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence."
-Erma Bombeck
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"There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child."
-Erma Bombeck
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"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."
-Erma Bombeck
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"Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown."
-Erma Bombeck
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"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go."
-Erma Bombeck
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"I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars."
-Erma Bombeck
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"Sometime they don't let you know that they know that they don't know everything, but the core of the medical approach is that you try to identify pathologies, which are subsystems within the human body or the larger system that are having undesirable consequences."
-Guy Burgess
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"Kids coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan deserve to come back to 21st century medical care."
-Anthony Principi
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"There is no medical proof that television causes brain damage - at least from over five feet away. In fact, TV is probably the least physically harmful of all the narcotics known to man."
-Christopher Lehmann-Haupt
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"We need to bridge the gap between the medical libraries and the hospital rooms take the information out there already, add to it, focus it, harness it - and bring it to the patient who was just diagnosed today."
-Bruce Vento
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"I found out that colonels can stay until they drop dead or get a walker and being a critical medical specialty as an Army trained emergency room doctor, I could stay until age 67."
-Gerald Griffin
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"I broke down while at Oxford, was rejected by a record number of medical tribunals during the War, and finally got permission to leave Oxford and do civilian work till the War ended."
-Leonard Alfred George Strong
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