"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence."
-Erma Bombeck
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"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.“
-Erma Bombeck
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"There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child."
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"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."
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"Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown."
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"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go."
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"I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars."
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"Kids coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan deserve to come back to 21st century medical care."
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"There is no medical proof that television causes brain damage - at least from over five feet away. In fact, TV is probably the least physically harmful of all the narcotics known to man."
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"We need to bridge the gap between the medical libraries and the hospital rooms take the information out there already, add to it, focus it, harness it - and bring it to the patient who was just diagnosed today."
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"I found out that colonels can stay until they drop dead or get a walker and being a critical medical specialty as an Army trained emergency room doctor, I could stay until age 67."
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"I broke down while at Oxford, was rejected by a record number of medical tribunals during the War, and finally got permission to leave Oxford and do civilian work till the War ended."
-Leonard Alfred George Strong
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