"I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor."
-Joan Rivers
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Other Quotes by Joan Rivers
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"What are people going to do? Fire me? I've been fired before. Not book me? I've been out of work before. I don't care."
-Joan Rivers
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"Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise."
-Joan Rivers
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"She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven."
-Joan Rivers
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"The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it."
-Joan Rivers
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"Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television."
-Joan Rivers
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"If cooking becomes an art form rather than a means of providing a reasonable diet, then something is clearly wrong."
-Tom Jaine
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"My soul is dark with stormy riot: directly traced over to diet."
-Samuel Hoffenstein
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"This cream will help one's nature strengthen and grow, The diet gives support in my decline."
-Du Fu
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"The 17 Day Diet' keeps your body and metabolism guessing. I call this 'body confusion.'"
-Mike Moreno
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"Hope is a very thin diet."
-Thomas Shadwell
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"I dream about 'Cheers.' Like when you go on a diet and you dream of pizza. I always think of those wonderful years. I loved working on it."
-George Wendt
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