"I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor."
-Joan Rivers
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Other Quotes by Joan Rivers
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"What are people going to do? Fire me? I've been fired before. Not book me? I've been out of work before. I don't care."
-Joan Rivers
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"Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise."
-Joan Rivers
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"She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven."
-Joan Rivers
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"The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it."
-Joan Rivers
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"Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television."
-Joan Rivers
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"Discernment is God's call to intercession, never to faultfinding."
-Corrie Ten Boom
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"I really am pretty happy with what God gave me."
-Jennifer Aniston
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"Man's sin is in his failure to live what he is. Being the master of the earth, man forgets that he is the servant of God."
-Abraham Joshua Heschel
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"I've looked on many women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times. God knows I will do this and forgives me."
-Jimmy Carter
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"The face you have at age 25 is the face God gave you, but the face you have after 50 is the face you earned."
-Cindy Crawford
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"We have domesticated God's transcendence. We often learn about God at about the same time as we are learning about Santa Claus but our ideas about Santa Claus change, mature and become more nuanced, whereas our ideas of God can remain at a rather infantile level."
-Karen Armstrong
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