"The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."
-Paula Poundstone
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"My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'“
-Paula Poundstone
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Other Quotes by Paula Poundstone
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"I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family."
-Paula Poundstone
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"I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe."
-Paula Poundstone
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"I'm thankful for Sarah Palin's vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box off the coast of California."
-Paula Poundstone
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"I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going."
-Paula Poundstone
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"I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings."
-Paula Poundstone
ThankfulView Quote
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"I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her."
-Ellen DeGeneres
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"Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own."
-Nelson Algren
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"Only God Himself fully appreciates the influence of a Christian mother in the molding of character in her children."
-Billy Graham
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"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."
-Mark Twain
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"When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child."
-Sophia Loren
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"I am sure that if the mothers of various nations could meet, there would be no more wars."
-E. M. Forster
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