"I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time."
-Steven Wright
TimeView Quote
"When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'“
-Steven Wright
posted in Morning
Other Quotes by Steven Wright
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"I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance."
-Steven Wright
TimeView Quote
"What's another word for Thesaurus?"
-Steven Wright
FunnyView Quote
"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
-Steven Wright
FunnyView Quote
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
-Steven Wright
FunnyView Quote
"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."
-Steven Wright
TimeView Quote
Same Category
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"The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast."
-Gabriel Garcia Marquez
MorningView Quote
"When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love."
-Marcus Aurelius
MorningView Quote
"Love. Fall in love and stay in love. Write only what you love, and love what you write. The key word is love. You have to get up in the morning and write something you love, something to live for."
-Ray Bradbury
MorningView Quote
"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
-Groucho Marx
MorningView Quote
"The one ironclad rule is that I have to try. I have to walk into my writing room and pick up my pen every weekday morning."
-Anne Tyler
MorningView Quote
"Every morning I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me. After the explosion, I spent the rest of the day putting the pieces together."
-Ray Bradbury
MorningView Quote