"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
-Emo Philips
WorkView Quote
"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.“
-Emo Philips
posted in Morning
Other Quotes by Emo Philips
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"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
-Emo Philips
ComputersView Quote
"Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day."
-Emo Philips
GoodView Quote
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
-Emo Philips
MoneyView Quote
"I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator."
-Emo Philips
FunnyView Quote
"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend."
-Emo Philips
FunnyView Quote
Same Category
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"The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast."
-Gabriel Garcia Marquez
MorningView Quote
"When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love."
-Marcus Aurelius
MorningView Quote
"Love. Fall in love and stay in love. Write only what you love, and love what you write. The key word is love. You have to get up in the morning and write something you love, something to live for."
-Ray Bradbury
MorningView Quote
"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
-Groucho Marx
MorningView Quote
"The one ironclad rule is that I have to try. I have to walk into my writing room and pick up my pen every weekday morning."
-Anne Tyler
MorningView Quote
"Every morning I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me. After the explosion, I spent the rest of the day putting the pieces together."
-Ray Bradbury
MorningView Quote