"I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time."
-Steven Wright
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Other Quotes by Steven Wright
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"I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance."
-Steven Wright
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"What's another word for Thesaurus?"
-Steven Wright
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"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
-Steven Wright
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"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
-Steven Wright
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"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."
-Steven Wright
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"Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened."
-Anatole France
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"Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal. Difficult standards for people to live up to."
-Alfred A. Montapert
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"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats."
-Albert Schweitzer
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"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
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"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function."
-Garrison Keillor
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"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
-Andy Rooney
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