Arthur Smith

"I am 54 and age is slowly writing itself on my face."

"It was Julie Burchill who decreed that, beyond a certain age, a man should not be seen in a leather jacket."

"Reading the play at home, however fulfilling, can never be the vivacious experience that Shakespeare intended."

"It is more interesting to be compared to someone famous, because it lets you gauge what perceptions people have about your appearance."

"Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world."

"The history of the relationship between comedy and swimming is short indeed. Of course it is always funny when someone falls into water, but that's about it."