George Burns

• "You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.“
• "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.“
• "If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.“
• "Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.“
• "At my age flowers scare me.“
• "I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.“
• "I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.“
• "I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.“
• "I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.“
• "I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.“
• "I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.“
• "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.“
• "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.“
• "When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.“
• "If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.“
• "I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.“
• "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.“
• "I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.“
• "Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.“
• "Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle.“
• "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.“
• "Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle.“
• "I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.“
• "Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.“
• "I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.“
• "I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.“
• "I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.“
• "Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.“
• "I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.“

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