Larry David

• "I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'“
• "The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore.“
• "Obviously comedic styles do change.“
• "Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens.“
• "The lunch in a normal American restaurant is very problematic for me. I don't like to have hot food for lunch.“
• "When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.“
• "Once I know people know who I am, it gives me a lot of licence and freedom to behave in ways I wouldn't normally.“
• "If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.“
• "I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.“
• "You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid.“
• "I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'“
• "There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny.“
• "I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.“
• "It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas.“
• "There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That scene would've been so much better if I had written it out.“
• "Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on!“
• "The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.“
• "I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian.“
• "I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.“
• "Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.“
• "Religion doesn't play any part in my life in terms of how I live my life. But I don't think I've ever gone through a day in my life without hearing someone say the word 'Jew' or saying it myself.“
• "If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.“
• "I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height of the Vietnam War.“
• "Women love a self-confident bald man.“
• "Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.“

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