Doug Larson

• "The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.“
• "More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.“
• "The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.“
• "If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.“
• "Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.“
• "Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.“
• "The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.“
• "A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!“
• "A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.“
• "The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.“
• "Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.“
• "A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.“
• "A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.“
• "The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.“
• "More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.“
• "Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.“
• "Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.“
• "Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.“
• "A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!“
• "For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.“
• "Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.“
• "Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.“
• "For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.“

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