Robert Benchley
A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.
-Robert Benchley
death
I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
-Robert Benchley
death
A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.
-Robert Benchley
family
You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.
-Robert Benchley
family
It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
-Robert Benchley
famous
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
-Robert Benchley
funny
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
-Robert Benchley
funny
Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.
-Robert Benchley
funny
Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
-Robert Benchley
funny
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
-Robert Benchley
great
There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.
-Robert Benchley
humor
Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
-Robert Benchley
pet
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
-Robert Benchley
pet
In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
-Robert Benchley
travel
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