Robert Benchley

• "A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.“
• "I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.“
• "A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.“
• "You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.“
• "It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.“
• "I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.“
• "Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.“
• "Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.“
• "Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?“
• "I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.“
• "There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.“
• "Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.“
• "A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.“
• "In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.“

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