"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."
-Henny Youngman
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"This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest."
-Henny Youngman
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"Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport."
-Henny Youngman
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"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
-Henny Youngman
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"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student."
-Henny Youngman
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"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
-Henny Youngman
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"A just and reasonable modesty does not only recommend eloquence, but sets off every great talent which a man can be possessed of."
-Joseph Addison
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"To have a great man for a friend seems pleasant to those who have never tried it those who have, fear it."
-Horace
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"Science is the great antidote to the poison of enthusiasm and superstition."
-Adam Smith
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"I wear black skinny-fit jeans - I can't get away from them. It's funny because I wore baggy jeans for ages, then one day my friend convinced me to try on a skinny pair and I thought they were great."
-Shaun White
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"Nobody, I think, ought to read poetry, or look at pictures or statues, who cannot find a great deal more in them than the poet or artist has actually expressed. Their highest merit is suggestiveness."
-Nathaniel Hawthorne
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"I remember a great America where we made everything. There was a time when the only thing you got from Japan was a really bad cheap transistor radio that some aunt gave you for Christmas."
-Cher
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