"I'm thankful for Sarah Palin's vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box off the coast of California."
-Paula Poundstone
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"I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family.“
-Paula Poundstone
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"I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going."
-Paula Poundstone
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"I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings."
-Paula Poundstone
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"I don't need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music, and laughter, but I like to take this time to take the path of thanks less traveled."
-Paula Poundstone
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"My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"
-Paula Poundstone
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"I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe."
-Paula Poundstone
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"Humor results when society says you can't scratch certain things in public, but they itch in public."
-Tom Walsh
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"The best scary movies have great humor in them and a great story."
-Stephen Sommers
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"This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humor section."
-John Callahan
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"Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was predicated on what people thought was funny about the immigrant Irish. When you're different in a society, you're funny."
-Will Eisner
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"We take the shortest route to the puck and arrive in ill humor."
-Bobby Clarke
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"You may not like the humor, but that is why every radio has an on-off button."
-Mel Karmazin
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