George Carlin - About time - 157438

"Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.“

-George Carlin

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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

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"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."

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"When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent."

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"I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work."

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"Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit."

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"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that."

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"By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth."

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"To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time."

-James A. Baldwin

"No country can act wisely simultaneously in every part of the globe at every moment of time."

-Henry A. Kissinger

"It's time to get real, folks. Hope and change ain't working. Hope and change is not a solution. Hope and change is not a job."

-Herman Cain

"It's plain hokum. If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em. It's an old political trick. But this time it won't work."

-Harry S. Truman

"Nixon is one of the few in the history of this country to run for high office talking out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and lying out of both sides."

-Harry S. Truman

"A lot of people would be embarrassed to admit that they were on 'Barney', but I embrace the fact. I just had such a wonderful time doing that show. I learned what a camera and prop is, and all that. I learned my manners too, so I guess that's a good thing!"

-Selena Gomez