"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor."
-Phyllis Diller
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"Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.“
-Phyllis Diller
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Other Quotes
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"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."
-Phyllis Diller
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"Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children."
-Phyllis Diller
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"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public."
-Phyllis Diller
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"Our dog died from licking our wedding picture."
-Phyllis Diller
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"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."
-Phyllis Diller
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Same Category
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"I feel by posing for Playboy I've discovered my own sexuality and beauty, and I feel more confident than ever."
-Heather Kozar
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"Beauty is the still birth of suffering, every woman knows that."
-Emily Prager
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"All the beauty of the world, 'tis but skin deep."
-Ralph Venning
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"Those who find beauty in all of nature will find themselves at one with the secrets of life itself."
-L. Wolfe Gilbert
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"The flowers anew, returning seasons bring but beauty faded has no second spring."
-Ambrose Philips
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"I want the Arabic Granada, that which is art, which is all that seems to me beauty and emotion."
-Isaac Albeniz
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