Jon Stewart

"The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1."

"McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done."

"I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else."

"I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food."

"If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American - our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that."

"Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's a series of pendulum swings."