"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present."
-Joan Rivers
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"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.“
-Joan Rivers
posted in Life
Other Quotes by Joan Rivers
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"She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven."
-Joan Rivers
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"Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television."
-Joan Rivers
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"I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor."
-Joan Rivers
WorkView Quote
"I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again."
-Joan Rivers
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"Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too."
-Joan Rivers
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Same Category
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"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
-Robert Frost
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"Without music, life would be a mistake."
-Friedrich Nietzsche
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"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."
-George Bernard Shaw
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"Where there is love there is life."
-Mahatma Gandhi
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"I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?"
-Ernest Hemingway
LifeView Quote
"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing."
-George Bernard Shaw
LifeView Quote