"But most good movies have a gun in them."
-David Sedaris
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"Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself.“
-David Sedaris
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"I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me."
-David Sedaris
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"I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so often there'll be something I can use later: a joke, a description, a quote. It's an invaluable aid when it comes to winning arguments. 'That's not what you said on February 3, 1996,' I'll say to someone."
-David Sedaris
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"When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard."
-David Sedaris
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"The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons."
-David Sedaris
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"I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer."
-David Sedaris
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"The truth is in California you can't build a new manufacturing facility, and businesses are leaving in droves because of bad government policy."
-Carly Fiorina
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"I agree with just about everyone in the reform debate when they say 'If you like what you have, you should be able to keep it.' But the truth is that none of the health reform bills making their way through Congress actually delivers on that promise."
-Ron Wyden
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"The GAO just released a report that said 22 percent of federal programs fail to meet their objectives. The truth is we don't know how taxpayer money is spent in Washington, D.C., which is why I think we ought to put every agency budget up on the Internet for everyone to see."
-Carly Fiorina
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"Tell the truth, work hard, and come to dinner on time."
-Gerald R. Ford
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"I intend to explode the myths about myself and get down to the real truth about the legend that is Batman."
-Bob Kane
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"The most solid piece of scientific truth I know of is that we are profoundly ignorant about nature."
-Lewis Thomas
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