"Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself."
-David Sedaris
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"I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.“
-David Sedaris
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"But most good movies have a gun in them."
-David Sedaris
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"I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me."
-David Sedaris
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"I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so often there'll be something I can use later: a joke, a description, a quote. It's an invaluable aid when it comes to winning arguments. 'That's not what you said on February 3, 1996,' I'll say to someone."
-David Sedaris
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"When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard."
-David Sedaris
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"The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons."
-David Sedaris
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"The last person they expected to connect with a screenplay was the comedic, blonde actress with the funny voice."
-Joey Lauren Adams
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"But I think funny and talent will always win out I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that."
-Wanda Sykes
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"It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world."
-Artie Lange
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"I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business."
-Wanda Sykes
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"When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government, the fundamentalists say that we and the Bush Administration are in the same camp. The funny thing is that human rights activists and Mr. Bush can never be situated in the same group."
-Shirin Ebadi
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"So it was just funny to read a script that was just similar to what had been going on in my life."
-Piper Perabo
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