Ron White

• "When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.“
• "Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane.“
• "There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.“
• "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.“
• "The next time you have a thought... let it go.“
• "I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.“
• "I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.“
• "I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.“
• "I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.“
• "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.“
• "The next time you have a thought... let it go.“
• "You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.“
• "I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.“
• "People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.“
• "But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It's like anything else. It's a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.“

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