Spike Milligan

"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."

"My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic."

"How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven."

"I can speak Esperanto like a native."

"And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected."

"Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery."