"I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor."
-Joan Rivers
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"I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.“
-Joan Rivers
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"What are people going to do? Fire me? I've been fired before. Not book me? I've been out of work before. I don't care."
-Joan Rivers
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"Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise."
-Joan Rivers
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"She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven."
-Joan Rivers
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"The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it."
-Joan Rivers
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"Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television."
-Joan Rivers
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"There's no regret. You can't regret. I mean, I've felt regret but I've also refused to allow regret to sow a seed and live in me because I don't believe it. You feel it, it's like guilt, it's like jealousy, it's like all those horrible things. You've just got to snip them and get them out, because they're no good."
-Jude Law
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"God is everywhere but He is most manifest in man. So serve man as God. That is as good as worshipping God."
-Ramakrishna
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"My mother gave lots of good advice and had a lot to say. As you get older, you realize everything she said was true."
-Lenny Kravitz
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"Bear and endure: This sorrow will one day prove to be for your good."
-Ovid
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"Let's not be afraid to speak the common sense truth: you can't have high standards without good discipline."
-William Hague
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"It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core."
-Phyllis Diller
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