"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place."
-Steven Wright
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"I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time."
-Steven Wright
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"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."
-Steven Wright
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"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time."
-Steven Wright
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"I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time."
-Steven Wright
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"I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance."
-Steven Wright
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"Discernment is God's call to intercession, never to faultfinding."
-Corrie Ten Boom
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"I really am pretty happy with what God gave me."
-Jennifer Aniston
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"Man's sin is in his failure to live what he is. Being the master of the earth, man forgets that he is the servant of God."
-Abraham Joshua Heschel
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"I've looked on many women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times. God knows I will do this and forgives me."
-Jimmy Carter
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"The face you have at age 25 is the face God gave you, but the face you have after 50 is the face you earned."
-Cindy Crawford
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"We have domesticated God's transcendence. We often learn about God at about the same time as we are learning about Santa Claus but our ideas about Santa Claus change, mature and become more nuanced, whereas our ideas of God can remain at a rather infantile level."
-Karen Armstrong
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