"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."
-Mitch Hedberg
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"If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.“
-Mitch Hedberg
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"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."
-Mitch Hedberg
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"Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."
-Mitch Hedberg
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"Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'"
-Mitch Hedberg
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"I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all."
-Mitch Hedberg
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"I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific."
-Mitch Hedberg
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Same Category
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"I was interested by the idea that artists working in a totalitarian dictatorship or tsarist autocracy are secretly and slightly shamefully envied by artists who work in freedom. They have the gratification of intense interest: the authorities want to put them in jail, while there are younger readers for whom what they write is pure oxygen."
-Tom Stoppard
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"Working with my dad was such a gas. We approached the work in a similar way. We only made two films together when I was an adult, Tucker, and Blown Away, but it was so much fun to play with your parent like that."
-Jeff Bridges
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"My work always tried to unite the true with the beautiful but when I had to choose one or the other, I usually chose the beautiful."
-Tom Stoppard
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"The artist belongs to his work, not the work to the artist."
-Novalis
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"Close your bodily eye, that you may see your picture first with the eye of the spirit. Then bring to light what you have seen in the darkness, that its effect may work back, from without to within."
-Caspar David Friedrich
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"The basis of computer work is predicated on the idea that only the brain makes decisions and only the index finger does the work."
-Brian Eno
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