Bill Vaughan

"Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to."

"Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking."

"Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income - which he then spends sending his son to college."

"Muscles come and go flab lasts."

"Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem."

"Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem."