Dennis Miller

"What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign."

"I didn't know my Dad - he moved out early. And my mom's politics were kind of hardscrabble. She didn't think about Democrats or Republicans. She thought about who made sense. I've been both in my life."

"The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country."

"You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R."

"The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood."

"There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it."