Joe E. Lewis

"I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster."

"I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink."

"The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love."

"I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play."

"You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough."