Jerry Seinfeld

"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."

"Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there."

"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'"

"When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business I have to humiliate myself."

"The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing."

"I love being a dad. I just love it."